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Old Year and New Year by Christina Rossetti

New Year met me somewhat sad:
Old Year left me tired,
Stripped of favourite things I had
Baulked of much desired:
Yet further on my road to-day
God willing, further on my way.

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Pet jokes

amatsuscribbleramatsuscribbler Posts: 2,852 mod
edited December 2013 in Humour
Thanks to Robert Trance for these!

Q: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?
[spoiler] A: A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! [spoiler]

Comments

  • amatsuscribbleramatsuscribbler Posts: 2,852 mod
    Q: What do you call a pile of kittens
    [spoiler]A: a meowntain [spoiler]
  • amatsuscribbleramatsuscribbler Posts: 2,852 mod
    edited December 2013
    Q: Why don't cats like online shopping?
    [spoiler] A: They prefer a cat-alogue. [spoiler]
  • amatsuscribbleramatsuscribbler Posts: 2,852 mod
    Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?
    [spoiler] A: I'm paw! [spoiler]
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    edited December 2013
    What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?

    =)) =)) =))
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,705 mod
    Why did the snowman call his dog "Frost"?

    [spoiler]Because Frost-bites![/Spoiler]
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,705 mod
    Why did the snowman call his dog "Frost"?

    Because Frost-bites!
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Very good one @Lynne! :)) :-j
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    Very good one @Lynne! :)) :-j
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 35,628 mod
    Groan.
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    I have one!
    Why do birds fly south for the winter?

    Because it’s too far to walk.
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    I have anoter!! :D

    Why did the man throw the butter out the window?
    Because he wanted to see butterfly.
  • HelvioHelvio Posts: 1,860 Inactive
    What do you call a fly without wings?
    A walk.
  • GlareGlare Posts: 7
    Why does a mouse love a cat? I knew this stroy on the TV.
  • TeachTeach Your Teacher HomePosts: 9,705 mod
    What do you call a dog with surround sound?

    A sub-woofer.
  • FDoriFDori Posts: 45 ✭✭
    My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.
  • nuurussubchiynuurussubchiy Posts: 259 ✭✭✭
    A Nun went to a seminar but finds out she's at the Cat Lover Seminar
  • benibeni Posts: 11 ✭✭
    A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?" "Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?" "Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..." "What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?" "Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"
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