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Old Year and New Year by Christina Rossetti

New Year met me somewhat sad:
Old Year left me tired,
Stripped of favourite things I had
Baulked of much desired:
Yet further on my road to-day
God willing, further on my way.

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Jokes about Money

TeachTeach Your TeacherHomePosts: 9,705 mod
Coming home from school a young boy proudly says to his father: Father! “I followed the bus home from town today, on my bicycle and saved £1.50.

His father cuffed him on the ear, and growled, “You fool!”

“But father, I thought you’d be proud of me for saving the fare!”

“Yes,” said the father, “But you could have followed a taxi and ten pounds!”


  • KA1KA1 Posts: 91 ✭✭
    > @nidhii said:
    > The way best to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them...

    True... specially if you don't pay them back :)
  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,275 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2016
    Yes! :)

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,275 ✭✭✭✭✭✭

  • BubblyBubbly Nightingale Posts: 30,275 ✭✭✭✭✭✭
  • nidhiinidhii Posts: 803 ✭✭✭✭
    @Bubbly Agreed.Completely True.
  • KhaliedKhalied EgyptPosts: 2,228 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Bubbly I avoid to speak with my friends about money
  • mohit_singhmohit_singh Posts: 2,202 ✭✭✭✭
    What is completely true @nidhii !
    Nothing is completely true here..! Partially true!
  • askermanaskerman Posts: 12 ✭✭
    While I was searching for a joke to post somebody has written: what's in common between money and my girlfriend: simply I don't have any
  • prateekprateek Posts: 243 ✭✭✭
    I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
    So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
    Eventually, he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
    I said, "$1000 and it's yours."
    @Paulette @Camvel @mheredge
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 16,989 mod
    @prateek @Camvel @Michouxe @jackelliot

    Johnny breakfast with his father and asks him: "Dad, is a thousand dollars actually much money?" Father tells him, "Well, boy, that depends on whether your mother to spend it, or that I have to earn."
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 16,989 mod
    edited March 2017
    @prateek @Lynne @takafromtokyo @jackelliot

    Two tramps sitting on a park bench eating sandwiches. One puts a dollar that he has found on the bench. The other tramp asks: "Why do you do that?" The first says, "Oh, I know so how it is to have money in the bank";


    Two German tramps are sitting on a park bench eating sandwiches. One puts a dollar that he has found on the bench, and the other tramp asks: "Why did you do that?" The first replies, "Oh, I just want to know what it is like to have money in the bank".

    (They would have to be German, because we don't use bank for a bench in the park.)
    Post edited by Teach on
  • maykmayk Posts: 155 ✭✭
    Saddest joke in money is" No Money No Honey".
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 16,989 mod
    A new boss wants to put lazy employees dismiss. He runs at the factory around midday and then looks somebody standing leaning against the wall. He asks him, "Hey, you there, how much do you earn per week?" And the man answers "400 euros, sir." "Good," says the new boss, "and you are always standing so?" The man replies "yes sir." Then said this new boss "stay here on until I come back" and he hurries himself to his desk and returns with a few banknotes. He says, "Take this 800 euros and I do not want to see you here." The young man takes the money and go away. Then the new boss looks around triumphantly at the workers who witnessed the incident and he says, "Can anyone tell me what that guy did exactly?" And someone answers with a small voice: "He brought only a pizza for the boss and waited for his money ... "
  • nadjibnadjib Posts: 16 ✭✭
    i cant be funny when talking about money
  • renanwillamyrenanwillamy Posts: 331 ✭✭✭
    The best way f saving money is forget who you borrowed it from
  • macchecmacchec Posts: 11 ✭✭
    @nadijb it depends on if you have money or not but I maybe Im wrong
  • medmansmedmans Posts: 28 ✭✭
    i'm broke = i have not money
  • AchrafAchraf Posts: 18 ✭✭
    Nice jocke
  • sammanisammani Posts: 432 ✭✭✭
    edited March 2018
    Why did your sister feed money to her cow ? Because she wanted to get rich milk. ;)
  • sammanisammani Posts: 432 ✭✭✭
    Oh I am sorry.there is that joke. :( :( I thought I got a new one.
    Again I am so sorry friends.
  • UdaykiranUdaykiran Posts: 5
    Wife: what are you doing in the garden?
    Husband: I am watering to plants..
    Wife:it has been raining for 2hours, are you crazy?
    Husband: No, i am using umbrella to protect my self, i will come after pouring this water, its better you should leave..
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