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In lands I never saw -- they say
Immortal Alps look down --
Whose bonnets touch the firmament --
Whose sandals touch the town --

Meek at whose everlasting feet
A myriad daisy play --
Which, Sir, are you and which am I
Upon an August day?

Emily Dickinson
August
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Happy Women's Day! warning: a slightly vulgar joke

mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
Did you know that? What?

When God created Adam and eve, he said to them:

" I only have two gifts left: the first is the art of peeing standing...

Adam did not let him go on and cried:

- " for me!!! For me!!! For me!!!
Please, Lord, I want this gift!
Please! Please! This is going to make my life easier!
Please!!! Give it to me! !! "

Eve Acquiesça, adding that for her, it didn't matter.

God then gave this gift to Adam, which began to scream with joy!

He was running around in the garden of Eden, peeing against all the trees and shrubs, going to the beach where he was on the sand of the drawings with his pee....
He did not stop showing his immense happiness! !! !

God and eve contemplaient the crazy man of joy.

Eve asked: " Lord, what is the other gift? "

And God replied: " the brain, Eve! The Brain! And it's for you!!!!

Tagged:

Comments

  • sammanisammani Posts: 433 ✭✭✭
    Wow.we have that gift.all men should know this story. :D
  • sandddsanddd Posts: 1
    Hahaha
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    I'm sure I have heard it before @sammani and @sanddd. It's an old chestnut I know, but for women, always raises a smile! I'm not so sure the guys will always agree though. >:)
  • sammanisammani Posts: 433 ✭✭✭
    @mheredge,my male batch mates will not agree.they will turn this story to a another one and then will try to laugh at girls. :( .
  • VokVok Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭
    I wonder if I sat while peeing, would I pass myself off as a clever fella? @mheredge
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    Maybe - I wonder if Scotsmen wearing kilts find this option better?

    On the topic of Mother's Day (related in a way to Women's Day), this article might interest you @Vok. Is it similar in your country?
  • VokVok Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭
    @mheredge what article?
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 1,841 ✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2018
    > @mheredge said:
    > Maybe - I wonder if Scotsmen wearing kilts find this option better?
    >
    > On the topic of Mother's Day (related in a way to Women's Day), this article might interest you @Vok. Is it similar in your country?

    Hm, Scotsmen... A vulgar (slightly) joke, watering trees, a God's gift and a curious woman. Or women... These make an associative relationship with the song 'Drunk Scotsman':


    (that's by an Irish American, which isn't authentic, but the video has subtitles, so I've chosen it for a learners' forum.)

    So, from this song Scotsmen don't, @mheredge .
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 1,841 ✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2018
    A double. @Mods, please delete it.
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    @Practical_Severard I had a Scottish university teacher who used to assure us that there was nothing better than sitting in the heather in a kilt. But the night I went to a ceilidh I was glad to see that the ones I saw at least, seemed to be sporting red ones!

  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 1,841 ✭✭✭✭
    > @mheredge said:
    > @Practical_Severard I had a Scottish university teacher who used to assure us that there was nothing better than sitting in the heather in a kilt. But the night I went to a ceilidh I was glad to see that the ones I saw at least, seemed to be sporting red ones!

    Sorry @mheredge. Did you mean red kilts or red underwear?
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    Red undies @Practical_Severard! There are a lot of very fast spins in Scottish dances....
  • VokVok Posts: 1,368 ✭✭✭
    > @mheredge said:
    > But the night I went to a ceilidh I was glad to see that the ones I saw at least, seemed to be sporting red ones!

    Didn't you feel at that moment you'd got flashed?
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 1,841 ✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2018
    > @mheredge said:
    > Red undies @Practical_Severard! There are a lot of very fast spins in Scottish dances....

    Wimps! They must have been Lowlanders...
    The red colour reminds of the now closed Moscow's night club for women featuring male striptease "Little Red Riding Hood".
    https://uk.reuters.com/article/us-russia-bars-striptease/male-strippers-just-part-of-moscow-girls-night-out-idUKL0937873120080114
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    The Full Monty @Practical_Severard!

  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 1,841 ✭✭✭✭
    edited March 2018
    > @mheredge said:
    > The Full Monty @Practical_Severard!



    This a sample dance from the club. 'The laundry.' Though a long-distance view.
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    It's one of the few films I have watched more than once @Practical_Severard. I found it especially hilarious as one of the characters resembles a cousin who comes from the same area where the film was set (I wondered if he had got a new calling....)
  • javierjavier Posts: 287 Inactive
    @mheredge @Practical_Severard I had not entered this section I see that women are very naughty here with the videos
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    Never fear @javier, The Full Monty doesn't reveal too much! And it is all in fun.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 9,940 mod
    javier said:

    @mheredge @Practical_Severard I had not entered this section I see that women are very naughty here with the videos

    I love the film, and it is a little bit naughty, but you never really see anything that you're not supposed to see, so don't worry if you would like to watch it.
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,640 ✭✭✭✭
    I think it is even okay for children to watch, accompanied by an adult that is (PG or Parental Guidance).
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 9,940 mod
    mheredge said:

    I think it is even okay for children to watch, accompanied by an adult that is (PG or Parental Guidance).

    Yes, it is. It's more of a comedy film than anything else, though some people get the wrong idea about it because of the subject matter.
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