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Anyone can help me to check my english writing?
Here is my Ielts writing for introduction, looking for some feedback from your guy.
Topic 1. The tendency of human beings to copy one another is shown in the popularity of fashion clothes and consumer goods. To what extent do you agree?
Introduction: The inclination of people to copy one another is reflected on the trend of fashion clothes and consumer goods. In my opinion, I think a lot of garments and marketing products are quite similar in nowadays. However, the problem is not happened in fashions clothes and consumer goods but it is also found in other fields, such as technology, business, food and etc.
Topic 2. Some countries encourage teenagers to have part-time job and see it as a good thing, while others disagree. Give your opinion and explain both views.
Introduction: Owing to different policies of countries, some of the governments encourage teenagers to get a part-time job, but there are still some countries disagree with that measure. It is a worthy attempt to gain social experiences through working as a part-time mode while student is studying in school. However, it might be a risk to affect their study.
Topic 3. Some people think it is more beneficial way to play sports that are played in teams, e.g. football. However, some people think it is more beneficial to play individual sports, e.g. tennis and swimming. Discuss about both views and give your own opinion.
Introduction: The people have different opinions when they are thinking what is the most beneficial way to play sports, it either plays in teams or individual sports. There are dfferent advantages and disadvantages to choose either mode.
Topic 4. In many cities today, most people live in large apartment blocks. Does this kind of accommodation have more advantages or disadvantages?
Introduction: As many people are chose to living into the high-rise residential blocks which is usually a popular choice for the citizen who are not able to afford the cost of having the low-density living environment within city.
Topic 5. Some people consider price as most important thing to consider when buying a product (such as a cell phone) or a service (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?
Introduction: There are people think that the price would be the first priority when they are considering to purchase a new products or service. In my opinion, I would rather think about the importance of that new goods.
Many thanks !