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Blind date

mheredgemheredge TeacherHere and therePosts: 36,096 mod
Have you ever been on a blind date? Did you see the person again?

The Guardian runs a series of articles on blind dates like this one:

Interview
Blind date: ‘He saves lives, even on a night out’
Does Becky, 26, barrister, find in favour of Daniel, 36, hospital doctor?
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/apr/28/blind-date-becky-daniel?CMP=fb_gu


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Comments

  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,549 mod
    Nowadays, there is a lot to do, "blindly". :)
    Blind date, blind marriage and I have seen "blind" at dinner too where the participants are blindfolded whilst eating and making conversation.
    Me, personally, have never done these all.
    I'm too suspicious to do that, I think.
    Who knows, my date could be a serial killer!
  • VokVok Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭
    Back in the heyday of sms dating services most of the dates I went on had been arranged blindly. As each sms cost a bomb not much information about a person was gathered prior to the date. So, not many of them went well.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    I share your skepticism @april. I think it is much better to have your eyes open.

    I'm not all that sure that I have ever been on a blind date exactly, though I have had to sometimes meet people I had never met before, but unlike you, I had enough information that made it not quite as blind as you were @Vok.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 8,689 mod
    Yes I did, and a dated the person for 8 years afterwards. He wasn't the right person for me, and I shouldn't have stayed with him so long really, but I was comfortable with him even if I didn't truly love him.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    I've never gone to a blind date. The likelihood it will become the inception of a worthy relationship is almost nonexistent.
  • NatashaTNatashaT Posts: 963 Teacher
    Are blind dates really possible anymore? With so much information available on social media, surely you can find out almost anything about the other person as long as you have their full name before the date?
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    @Deucalion what's the difference between meeting someone on a chance encounter and a blind date, other than the latter was a bit more intentional? After all, most people start off by not really knowing anything much about the person that they might go out with on a first date. I remember my first meeting with one boyfriend who just happened to be sitting in the seat next to me in a cinema and after the film we got chatting about the film and....
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2018
    @mheredge, from my viewpoint a meeting on a chance encounter enables two persons see upfront whether there is merely a faint mutual chemistry between them. If there is chemistry, great! If there is no chemistry, great! Nobody is expected to like the other and wish to meet him or her again. It is a mere meeting which is viewed as something that doesn't necessarily have to be followed on. A date is another thing. If after a date one of the person doesn't want to proceed with it anymore, it hurts the other one, especially if it is the woman who is not wanted. Men must approach women imperceptibly, asking a woman for a blind date is poor judgement on their part.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    I'm not sure if a blind date is much different to a chance encounter @Deucalion. I doubt anyone holds any high expectations of such a date.

    In the old days, blind dates were usually arranged by well-meaning friends. All that's changed is that now the internet and introduction agencies make it easier to do.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    It seems I am old-fashioned regarding dates, @mheredge. :neutral:
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 8,689 mod
    Deucalion said:

    I've never gone to a blind date. The likelihood it will become the inception of a worthy relationship is almost nonexistent.

    You never know until you try. No matter who you end up dating, you always have to meet them for the first time - so if you meet the right person on your blind date you never know what might happen!
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    Nothing wrong with being old-fashioned about dating @Deucalion! I think it is always best to do what you feel most comfortable doing.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    > @GemmaRowlands said:
    > You never know until you try. No matter who you end up dating, you always have to meet them for the first time - so if you meet the right person on your blind date you never know what might happen!

    I agree, there is always a chance to meet the right person.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2018
    > @mheredge said:
    > Nothing wrong with being old-fashioned about dating @Deucalion! I think it is always best to do what you feel most comfortable doing.

    I'm comfortable with blind dating too, but I can't imagine how many blind dates would be needed to find the right woman. :) Plus, if you date a woman and then shrink from that, it afflicts her much. Why to do that? Isn't it better to take a closer look beforehand?
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 18,099 mod
    A blind date was unknowed when I was young and inexperiend. But I met my husband on a blind date ( but I didn't know it) because I met him without appointment. It was on a book fair, both of us was interest in the same book and we want taken the book on the same moment and so there was a hand touch and a big smile ..... and a nice talk... and a few weeks later was my touching boy looking for me..... and he has me found.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    That's what I wanted to say - chance encounters are natural opportunities to take a closer look first. Very often a short chatting can tell a lot about someone.
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 18,099 mod
    Isn't every encounter withnew people a kind of blind date. If you go to a meeting or you take vacation then you meet also unknow people and these people can become friends of you.
    That is what life has in store, all kinds of encounters where it will click on one encounter and the other doesn't succeed.

    Are not all people on this forum a bit a blind date for each other?
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    It depends on what meaning we put in the word "date", @Paulette. In this regard the explanations provided by different dictionaries differ. For example Longman Dictionary of Modern English states that one of the meaning of "date" is a mere social meeting, while Cambridge Dictionary states that "date" means "... a meeting between two people who have or might have a romantic relationship".
    According to Longman Dictionary's explanation you are right - we are all dating here.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    @Deucalion I think people who go for blind dates are usually quite relaxed about the idea of the date not leading to anything more. Maybe someone naive or on a first blind date might have some expectations, but generally I think it is just a way to enlarge the group of people that you meet by chance.

    I take Longman's definition as being the best to describe a date. I understand it to mean 'social' as opposed to necessarily 'romantic' (it could be romantic, but that includes social).
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 18,099 mod
    @mheredge and @Deucalion I also take Longman's definition as being the best for all the dates I had have and these who will come.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    I tend to see 'dating' as sometimes a preliminary to romance @Paulette.
  • PaulettePaulette Posts: 18,099 mod
    @mheredge for me all people are worth to have nice experience with me and I think that is like a kind of romance.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    You have a very good point @Paulette.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 8,689 mod
    Deucalion said:

    > @GemmaRowlands said:

    > You never know until you try. No matter who you end up dating, you always have to meet them for the first time - so if you meet the right person on your blind date you never know what might happen!



    I agree, there is always a chance to meet the right person.

    I wouldn't be with my current partner if I hadn't been set up with him by a friend, so I am all for giving it a go.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2018
    I'm glad it happened to you, @GemmaRolands.
    Though, I am pessimistic regarding blind dates, because on blind dates all people know the right behavior and stage the embodiment of the ideal person. That's why blind dates are useless to see the true face of the person you are dating in such a way. It could be really treacherous, because you can be outfoxed by someone good at both making really good impression at first, and eating your happiness at breakfast later on a daily basis. ;)
  • VokVok Posts: 1,023 ✭✭✭
    @Deucalion I think it's just the case with all manner of dates. Naturally everyone tries to make a good impression at first. It wears off quite soon, though, as your date gets more comfortable with you and then you get a chance to learn more about him or her. Don't be gullible and fall head over heels in love too soon.
  • mheredgemheredge Teacher Here and therePosts: 36,096 mod
    You have a point @Deucalion., but I think it is fairly usual for the first few dates to only see the better side of the other person. Both will be on their 'best behaviour' to try to impress. I think this goes for any start to a relationship, except perhaps if it is a person who you have known a long time and then things start to become more serious.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 8,689 mod
    Deucalion said:

    I'm glad it happened to you, @GemmaRolands.

    Though, I am pessimistic regarding blind dates, because on blind dates all people know the right behavior and stage the embodiment of the ideal person. That's why blind dates are useless to see the true face of the person you are dating in such a way. It could be really treacherous, because you can be outfoxed by someone good at both making really good impression at first, and eating your happiness at breakfast later on a daily basis. ;)

    Yes I suppose that is true, but I think everyone acts differently when they are trying to impress a person, whether they knew them already or not.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2018
    > @Vok said:
    > ... as your date gets more comfortable with you and then you get a chance to learn more about him or her.

    Learning more is not enough, because it will not comprise the traits the person you date will cover carefully, @Vok. If that person sees you as a desired candidate for marriage, he or she can successfully cover those traits for years. But the next day after the wedding party - SURPRI-i-i-i-iSE! :lol:
    That's why I think it is wise to survey the person out of a dating context upfront, when he or she doesn't suspect any intention for dating on your part.
  • DeucalionDeucalion Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭✭
    > @mheredge said:
    > ... I think it is fairly usual for the first few dates to only see the better side of the other person.
    If it only is for the first few dates.
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