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AM/PM Session - 24 July 2018 - Why faking your feelings at work can be damaging

NatashaTNatashaT Posts: 1,057 Teacher
edited July 2018 in Work and Money
We read an article about how it can be bad for you to fake your feeling at work:

http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20180619-why-suppressing-anger-at-work-is-bad


Vocabulary Top 10:

coin - (verb) to create (a new word or phrase) that other people begin to use

put on a front - a way of behaving that is meant to hide your true feelings, thoughts, etc.

presumption - a belief that something is true even though it has not been proved

cumulative - increasing or becoming better or worse over time through a series of additions

façade - a way of behaving or appearing that gives other people a false idea of your true feelings or situation

tirade - a long and angry speech

demeanour - a person's appearance and behavior : the way someone seems to be to other people

takes a toll - to have a serious, bad effect on someone or something : to cause harm or damage

liaison - a person who helps organizations or groups to work together and provide information to each other

would-be - used to describe someone who hopes to be a particular person or type of person


Can you usually be honest about how you feel at work?
Have you ever experienced any of these negative effects from faking your feelings?
Post edited by april on

Comments

  • aprilapril Moderator Posts: 10,868 mod
    @NatashaT , I edited the ç in your facade. :)
    I have that letter on my keyboard. :D
    I hope you don't mind? B)
  • NatashaTNatashaT Posts: 1,057 Teacher
    Thanks @april ! I actually have that letter on my keyboard too, but I forgot :D Plus you will see it written both ways in English, since most English keyboards don't have it! ;)
  • MonikMonik Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2018
    @NatashaT it's hard to tell. I am used to showing my emotions, BUT clearly being honest with our emotions it's not easy or appropriate in certain circumstances, even more at work. The point is, people can surprise us so it's hard to predict what is coming, especially when you're involved in customer service, then wether you like it or not you have to deal with it. From my experience, I tend to be empathetic, it helps me to address any situation in an authentic and genuine way. On the other hand, bottle my feelings up does not work for me. I feel like, I need to vent to some one, so that can blow off some steam.

    In general, when it comes to this demeanor is something that we all have experienced at work. Not to mention that some jobs are tougher than others. Ultimately, if we want to put on a front or just get involved in every situation is our call. But the most important thing is to be clear that we cannot carry with someone else's load or take every single matter too personal. :wink:
    Post edited by Monik on
  • manalmousamanalmousa Posts: 5 Inactive
    Hello, of course my behavior at work differs, and also my behavior at home differs, and it differs every time according to the kind of people who I contact with.

    The question is should I behave the same everywhere to be natural not false?

    My answer is no, the natural way is to deal with every type of people as it requires, specially at work, it needs to be official in your behavior, and success means to be able to control your reactions.😎
  • filauziofilauzio Genoa ( Italy )Posts: 1,929 ✭✭✭✭✭
    When it comes to repress your emotions and keep up your company's appearance with customers, I suppose some workplaces environments are extremely difficult to cope with.

    Take for instance the cabin crew members cited in the article. I think the narrowness of the spaces render all much more troubling. I mean you can't go outside slamming the door just to give vent to your anger.

    Sometimes, said the flight attendant, she felt the urge, the strong impulse to hit the unpolite customers or to throw something to them.

    When you get nervous, anxious because you aren't allowed to put on and display your inner emotion, you often accumulate layers over layers of frustrations which go deeper into your damaged self-esteem.

    With the experience, however, you can learn not to absorb any worry or work led frustrations; you simply let them slip down your outside surface, just like the rain drops down the umbrella's dome.

    Especially in those kinds of jobs which require you to put on the company's uniform, you have to set your mind thinking you're no longer your authentic self: you have been turned a ' human resource ', nothing more than a puppet subjected to the company's rules and arrangements.

    You even lose your name; while working on your shift, you're still a person only when being addressed and chatting with your colleagues; however, for the company you're just a number on the workforce's register.

    Therefore you can still hold yourself a lucky person, if your company understand your emotional labour and allow you, from time to time, some break to relax and your genuine sentiments to surface and buoy, if only for a few minutes' span.

    As the article said, you would also need a satisfying and full of interest life outside work; in order to prevent you from getting workplace-sick, you need to draw a firm dug line between your appearance at work and your authentic self.

    Try to empathize with your customer, should be the optimal solution in order to display your true emotions and beliefs.

    Nevertheless, if in doing so, you're faking even more your sentiments, I suppose it's better working a surface response.

    I believe you certainly have to try to stick and stay true to your inner convictions and emotions; not feel forced to empathise in any cases though: because it could be detected as an hypocritical pose you're making up.

    I think in some situations, a good strategy is thinking and operating lightheartedly as you were an actor on a stage: after all your customers usually expect you to perform your assigned part.

    It may happen customers deliberately abuse and insult you, just because they know you're bound to operate within company's rules.

    You either have better playing deaf or, otherwise, you are going to have a row and maybe suffer a disciplinatory action with your employer in the aftermath.
    glad to stop strict diet, splashed in belly flop? Don't care you're not light, here on English hop !
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