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I wrote 150+ Words! Please improve my sentences

The Bar Graph gives information about College Graduates between 1995 and 2015. It shows who did more Graduates, men or women.
As can be seen from the graph the men have more graduates then woman in the year of 1995. In 1995 were the men about more than 40.000 and woman more than 30.000 so as you can see women had less graduates then men.

After 10 years in 2005 the sum was up for the men and also for women but not more than men. The men were 60.000 and the woman more than 40.000.
So as you can see again in the graph in 2005 are the men again more than women.

The last year in the graph, the sun risen again quit a bite. Here too in year 2015 also after 10 years as you can see did the men more graduates than the women. The men did under 80.000 and the women like 50,000

In the graph always sees that the men have more graduates than the women.

So i want to know about you, could such sentences fit, what i wrote?
did I wrote it reasonably well?

Thank you in advance


  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 39,096 ✭✭✭✭
    @AmritVIE I was able to follow what the graph showed even without seeing it, so you have included the main points. However, you need to work on the language used to describe the information. You can use phrases like 'start of the period' or 'thirty years' to avoid repeating dates too often. Also you are comparing and contrasting, so what is similar is that the number of men graduating was always higher than for women, by the rate of increase was faster.

    The bar graph shows the number of male and female students graduating between 1995 and 2015.

    At the start of the period, there were more male graduates (40,000) than women (30,000). After ten years, the total number of graduates had increased, but men where still in the lead (60,000) having increased by fifty percent. However the number of women graduates was still only at the same level as it had been for men in 1995 (40,000) and had grown by a smaller rate of 25 percent.

    By 2005, men were still ahead of women. The number of male graduates had doubled from 1995 to 80,000, while women graduates numbered just 50,000, representing a further 25 percent increase on the decade before, and the difference between the sexes widening further.

    The graph shows that the number of male graduates stayed greater than for females, and the difference widened over the thirty year period.
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