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There is wind where the rose was,
Cold rain where sweet grass was,
And clouds like sheep
Stream o'er the steep
Grey skies where the lark was.

Nought warm where your hand was,
Nought gold where your hair was,
But phantom, forlorn,
Beneath the thorn,
Your ghost where your face was.

Cold wind where your voice was,
Tears, tears where my heart was,
And ever with me,
Child, ever with me,
Silence where hope was.

November by Walter de la Mare
August
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Trade off

mheredgemheredge Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭
This is an article about there being no such thing as a work-life balance. The suggestion is that life can be looked at as though it is a stove with four burners where each burner represents an important part of your life. The first burner represents your family; the second your friends; the third your health; and the fourth is your work.

The Four Burners Theory says that “in order to be successful you have to cut off one of your burners. And in order to be really successful you have to cut off two.”

There's always a trade off, but it is whether you can manage your burners so as to get the best out of life that determines your work life balance.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-downside-of-work-life-balance

What do you think? Do you think you have a good work-life balance, or do you only manage to keep a couple of burners going? Which are you sacrificing?

Comments

  • HermineHermine Posts: 8,023 ✭✭✭✭
    1. burner is for family
    2. burner is for health
    3. burner is for work
    4. burner is for friends

    That's a tricky question, in it? I think the burners of family and work are mingled in my life and they're burning very hot. May I count them as one burner?
    The burners of health and friends are just simmering, at the moment.

    If I had not choice, I would cut off the burner for health.

    Note: Is there no burner for faith?
  • bfluentmanishbfluentmanish Posts: 328 ✭✭✭
    @mheredge ,@Hermine, Managing all burner is very important part of life.I have cut off burner is for friends.
    However i missed them because sometime you need someone to share your feelings about situation with your chum but now i don't find any chum who can help me out.
  • HermineHermine Posts: 8,023 ✭✭✭✭
    @bfluentmanish, I believe friendsships must be groomed. I cannot call friends just when I' am in need. They'll assume you just call them when you need something.

    I hear this from people. They just call me when they have a need, they feel they're used. Do they say.

  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 2,124 ✭✭✭✭
    edited May 8
    It seems very probable. Napoleon Hill wrote in his "Think and grow rich" that in order to become rich you need to have made the wish of success an overwhelming passion.
    Post edited by Practical_Severard on
  • VokVok Posts: 1,579 ✭✭✭✭
    It's an interesting metaphor I've never heard of before. In my case, I have a joint burner for my family and my friends (sounds a bit weird in this context). Members of my family have long become my friends. It's easier for me that way because I spend more time with my family and don't have enough time for friends, unfortunately. As a friendship is a two-way street, I've decided that it'd be unfair from me to be only a 'receiver', but being a 'giver' is quite hard for me. Ultimately, I don't want to be 'really' successful and I'm not sure what it means. So, I don't need to cut two burners. The most unstable burner is the health burner. I wish it was hotter but sometimes I forget to supply it with a healthy diet and regular exercises. Finally, the hottest burner is my work, but mainly because I spend the lion share of my awake time at work. If I could outsource a part of my daily job, it'd be great.
  • HermineHermine Posts: 8,023 ✭✭✭✭
    I want a strong burning burner for my beloved English learning process.

    In what category would that belong? Work - no, health - no, family - no, friends - hm,
  • Practical_SeverardPractical_Severard Posts: 2,124 ✭✭✭✭
    Hermine said:

    I want a strong burning burner for my beloved English learning process. In what category would that belong? Work - no, health - no, family - no, friends - hm,

    I guess, you have five burners then.

  • HermineHermine Posts: 8,023 ✭✭✭✭
  • VokVok Posts: 1,579 ✭✭✭✭
    > @Hermine said:
    > I want a strong burning burner for my beloved English learning process.
    >
    > In what category would that belong? Work - no, health - no, family - no, friends - hm,

    It's a hard graft burner.
  • bfluentmanishbfluentmanish Posts: 328 ✭✭✭
    @Hermine noted your point i will take care how to make things in line again.
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭
    I used to neglect the health burner, the family burner tends to be on a simmer, with the work and friends burners being the strongest. Now it is possible that the health burner might be the strongest.

    @Hermine I suppose it depends on why you are learning English as to which burner you could assign it to: for work, or to make friends. Or if it is for intellectual challenge, then it might be more to do with a healthy mind.

    Some people are very focused on getting rich and I think if they want it enough, they generally succeed @Practical_Severard. They are prepared to make sacrifices that most people might balk at making.
  • bfluentmanishbfluentmanish Posts: 328 ✭✭✭
    @mheredge @Vok @Hermine @Practical_Severard.
    For Work-Life Balance
    One important thing people can do is, have family conversations regarding various things you are doing at your work. This builds a completely different level of trust and you do not know what insights may come from your family. These are people who are outside observers to your work, but they are people you trust, and who love you and want you to succeed. Their input can be extremely valuable. It may be your wife, it may be your five-year-old child, you do not know. I know people try to keep work conversations away from family, but I would say that is a mistake. Why can’t work conversations be very interesting if you are creating something? Family could get involved in it, and when you are at home, though you may not actually be working hands on, you could still be thinking and evolving ideas for tomorrow or for the future.
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭
    I remember the first twenty minutes after my father came home from work, we used to sit and have a cup of tea while we exchanged news about what had happened during the day. For me this was one of the most enjoyable times in the day. We also used to always eat our dinner all together (four of us) which was a very good time to talk too.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 10,331 mod
    I agree with this, and I don't think that anyone has a balanced life. At the moment I feel as though I have too much to do, and I can't find a way to make a balance between everything!
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭
    As long as you like what you're doing, I wouldn't worry. I feel like this, but being busy is a choice too and for me, I wouldn't want it any other way.
  • bfluentmanishbfluentmanish Posts: 328 ✭✭✭
    @mheredge @GemmaRowlands
    I also missed those days when whole family used to sit together and used to have discussion and fun while having.
    Our joint family got separated my mother, father other relatives passed away .
  • HermineHermine Posts: 8,023 ✭✭✭✭
    In my old family constilation we seldom sat together talking. We were too different even restless.

    But now in my own family we sit together daily talking about what has happen during the day. @bfluentmanish
    It's a wonderful feeling even when talking over trivial things.
    My youngest daughter often mourned that no-one listens to her. I often tell her she could exchange her mourning and wanting into something productive.
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭
    Independence is a trade off for living as an extended family.

    My trade off is much simpler - get wet or take shelter, but the price is having to drink a nice Belgium beer. What a hard choice!
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 10,331 mod
    mheredge said:

    As long as you like what you're doing, I wouldn't worry. I feel like this, but being busy is a choice too and for me, I wouldn't want it any other way.

    I would like a little more free time, but the things I'm doing are enjoyable, so I don't really want to let anything drop.
  • HermineHermine Posts: 8,023 ✭✭✭✭
    edited June 5

    mheredge said:

    As long as you like what you're doing, I wouldn't worry. I feel like this, but being busy is a choice too and for me, I wouldn't want it any other way.

    I would like a little more free time, but the things I'm doing are enjoyable, so I don't really want to let anything drop.
    For me it sounds positivley.
  • Shishio13Shishio13 Posts: 154 ✭✭✭
    I think health burner is the most important of all of them. Without health you can't do anything. You can't spend time with you family and you definitively can't work or study in a proper way. t

    There is a saying (in Spanish): I would rather be a healthy homeless than be a sick king.
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭
    Some people burn themselves out working too hard in a quest to earn more money @Shishio13.
  • GemmaRowlandsGemmaRowlands Moderator Posts: 10,331 mod
    mheredge said:

    Some people burn themselves out working too hard in a quest to earn more money @Shishio13.

    I agree and I am very much trying not to be one of these people at the moment, though I need to earn more money as I would like to go on holiday soon!
  • mheredgemheredge Posts: 40,740 ✭✭✭✭
    I'm pleased to be meeting lots of people who are travelling for their holidays, as a break from work as opposed to longer term long trips. It's very healthy to take time off to go somewhere different. Most people I'm meeting are here in Bulgaria for the first time.
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